By Julia Hays | Tue., Feb. 17, 2015 2:38 PM

Dating is truly difficult. That is why it is often over products.

You are able to have a bath, pop a breath mint, and get fairly well-versed in little talk, however your mother texts you “don’t mess this up. ” You straight away be in your mind you want to do is find that special someone who shares your love for Will Smith movies and Thai takeout about it, when all.

I have been on plenty of bad very very first times into the year that is past. I came across a musician whom listed every one of his ex-girlfriends for me personally chronologically, then stated he forgot their wallet at the conclusion of the dinner. We met up with operator whom introduced me personally to their mother, then said he’d simply tossed up numerous times from food poisoning. Oh, and there is that star whom described a porn movie shoot for me personally in visual information but did not look after the reality that i am maybe not religious.

They are just a few samples of a few that end differently—like I could have willed that guy to stop vomiting throughout our meetup with me going home alone with a $3 bottle of Trader Joe’s wine and some women’s magazines, wondering what I could have done.

I am the kind of one who will place in a huge amount of research if i believe I’m able to enhance at one thing. That features Beyonce party tutorials on YouTube, and yes, dating how-to books to “up my game. “

Them rapid fire while speed dating for the first time so I thought a great way to spend Friday the 13th, which was also the night before Valentine’s Day, was to make a list of the common dating tips I’ve found for ladies and execute. It really is a Kate Hudson romcom into the generating, except it absolutely was emerge a sh–ty plunge bar in Koreatown playing so many DJ Mustard remixes.

A photograph published by Julia Hays (@juliaevehays) on Feb 13, 2015 at 7:11pm PST

There have been merely a half dozen ladies for over 15 males to turn through, and each time a bell rang we embarked on a fresh 5-minute discussion where I attempted a different relationship mag approach to charm these gentlemen.

Please take pleasure in the shows of my night, and I want to preface by saying, i shall perhaps not be streaming boys that are bad on Netflix over a cocktail and springtime rolls with some of these gentleman in the foreseeable future. Oh, well!

1. One of the inventors: On my very first date for the night my objective was to be laidback and perhaps a small tomboyish—to appear like a female who does be friends with their pals. We kept bringing the discussion back into my love for recreations. I told him that I played tennis, adored climbing and rec that is co-ed, and ended up being really active in dream leagues. Around four mins you keep speaing frankly about activities; had been you raised in a household of most males or something like that? In he asked, “Why do” That’s appropriate. Not just did he disapprove of a lady that is athletic he could not finish the date and simply maybe not choose me—he required to tell me personally, to my face, something ended up being incorrect beside me. Lesson: you shouldn’t be into “guy things? ” Haha, i am joking! He simply sucks.

2. Be Agreeable: to my next date we aimed to please. If he liked anything, therefore did We! It may be good to indicate common passions, right? Well. Him i liked hip-hop music and named a few of my favorite rappers he responded with, “Really when I told? You are a few white girl rolling around to rap? Sure, whatever. ” Thus I switched the main topic of discussion to function. That which was his task? The hip-hop snob said he worked in finance, therefore I said “Oh, cool! My favorite podcast is market with Kai Ryssdal. I do not have shares or such a thing, but i really like after the latest company and trade news. ” Their reaction to this: “You’re telling me you realize finance? Right, OK. ” Lesson: in the event that you trust somebody they could make an effort to inflict needless conflict for funsies? That or this person really hates every thing he stated he really really really loves. But that description might be too deep.

3. Ask for guidance: The next gentleman seemed excited in order to assist me and respond to all my concerns. What exactly is their place that is favorite in Angeles? Where am I able to sample the most effective regional brews? Just problem using this date: He lied to me—he lied a complete lot, actually. Certainly one of my few “talents” is we understand whenever some one is fibbing, most likely because i am so excellent at it too (clearly. Considering my hobby that is new is dating aliases. ) This other would get adequate information like we hung around the same kind of people and places from me that he could make it seem. We do not, but. I seen sufficient marathons associated with Pickup Artist on VH1 to understand this person’s deal. He had been planning to state whatever it took try to win me over. Lesson: in the event that you appear extremely eager, some guy will literally state such a thing to obtain those digits!

4. Laugh at Everything He states: Laugh within explanation, needless to say. That you do not wish to appear crazy. I LOLed like I became viewing Richard Pryor in their prime inside my brief date with this specific man, and spoiler alert, and even though he had been perhaps not a really funny person, he had been on Cloud 9! Granted, his jokes simply got even worse, because he thought he had been killing it for their new No. 1 fan, nevertheless the tutorial listed here is if you wish to improve someone’s ego: pretend like they really have actually a feeling of humor. They are going to love that! Flattery first!